Oh My God Y'all!
Like, Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God!
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butthole surfers / the strokes
Big Black
The Shins
Explosions in the Sky
This Will Destroy You.
Children…
And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
Wow. I seriously looked through my entire iTunes and NOTHING works. wtf.
THROBBING GRISTLE
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Actually, I have nothing to blog about
Life has been infinitely mundane. Therefore, I shall talk about…
(Shit, I’ve been sitting here for the past five minutes nervously wracking my brains for something, ANYTHING to talk about!)
No, my life is actually NOT infinitely mundane. On the contrary, it is awesomely interesting. But everything interesting that has happened recently involves the word SEX, so I might as well leave it.
I AM KIDDING OK!!!
Since we’re on the topic of sex, we shall discuss what makes it so damn good. Everybody’s doing it: your parents, your pet dog, porn stars, ladida. Should YOU be doing it too?
Personally, I think if a person does not want to wait until marriage, that’s okay. But what I do believe in is that you should truly love the person you are sleeping with. Do it because you love them, not because you are horny or because you are thinking, “Fuckshit, all my friends do it already! ZOMG I am so totally left behind!”
That’s another thing. Is getting left behind one of the worst things to ever befall a male? Is it so embarrassing to be still a virgin when all your friends are not? Who is going to prove that you have already had sex? Guys don’t have hymens. And I don’t think there’s a sticker invented yet (like expiry date tags or something) to be placed on our willies that shows whether we’ve done it or not. So what if you have done it? Is it so the next time you watch porn, you can think to yourself, “Hmm… that looks familiar! Yes, I think I have used that position before!”
Sex is a damn complicated issue and something you should consider seriously before you take the leap. It is the most intimate thing you can ever do with someone else. You don’t even let your own mother (whom you came out of her vagina from) see you au naturel and you’re willing to let a stranger from some club strip you? If you made the wrong choice, you will seriously regret it later.
And I don’t think it’s very funny to wake up the next morning with a hangover and think, “Eh? Who’s the skinny naked bloke next to me? And why is there a cottage cheese-like substance on my vagina?” You are not going to look back with fond memories of your younger days if you simply go around bonking random people. What are you going to tell your grandkids? “Oh, him, honey? That was #462, if I’m not mistaken.”
I am not trying to be damn holier-than-thou and preachy and stuff. There are things I’ve done that I may not have regretted but am definitely not proud of. But seeing the way things are going these days, somebody would make a lot of money if they created a spin-off from Facebook: Instead of a friend list, people can have a fuck buddy list and see how they’re connected to each other.
WTF who died and made me royalty of unsolicited sex advice? Maybe it’s time for Dr. Margie Holmes to retire. ^__^
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“You’re in need of a ravisher…”
“I’m waiting.”
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I’ve adopted a new identity. I will now allow everyone to call me by my “penis name”. Boys, you KNOW what I’m talking about. ;p
Excuse me for not properly introducing my penis. For those of you who I’m friends with, you probably know my penis. For those who don’t, I’m proud to present “Mr. Winkie”. Take it away, Mr.Winkie!
Mr. Winkie: “Hello. Sorry I haven’t been the most friendliest of penises, but you know how hard it gets when you’re having that not so fresh feeling. But I will make an effort to extend myself and shake fists with each and every one of you. Don’t get all limp and shriveled, up, I’ll be coming back.”
Now that we got the formalities out of the way, did you know that I’ve also considered other penis names? One of which includes “The Great Gatsby”. You know, that hair gel brand Gatsby that is advertised to be “wet and hard”. Also… Inspector Gadget! “Go, go Gadget boner! Go, go Gadget sperm.”
Alright, alright! Enough dicking around! ^__^ -
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(via fuckyeahprettygames)
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Aphex Twin - Milkman
I WOULD LIKE SOME MILK FROM THE MILKMAN’S WIFE’S TITS
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Sonic Youth - Moist Vagina (Nirvana cover)
My favorite band covering another one of my favorite bands = BLISS
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We recently observed a female fetus at 32 weeks’ gestation touching the vulva with fingers of [her] right hand. The caressing movement was centered primarily on the region of the clitoris. Movements stopped after 30 to 40 seconds, and started again after a few moments. Further, these light touches were repeated and were associated with short, rigid movements of the pelvis and legs. After another break, in addition to this behavior, the fetus contracted the muscles of the trunk and limbs, and the climax, clonicotonic movements [rapid muscle contractions] of the body, followed. Finally she relaxed and rested. We [several doctors and the mother] observed this behavior for about 20 minutes.
American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 175, September 1996, page 753
How fascinating.
"Thirdy". Perpetually 19. Corporeally 15. Emotionally 7. Mentally 1. I wanna go out and explore the world!
