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"Thirdy". Perpetually 19. Corporeally 15. Emotionally 7. Mentally 1. I wanna go out and explore the world!
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Life has been infinitely mundane. Therefore, I shall talk about…
(Shit, I’ve been sitting here for the past five minutes nervously wracking my brains for something, ANYTHING to talk about!)
No, my life is actually NOT infinitely mundane. On the contrary, it is awesomely interesting. But everything interesting that has happened recently involves the word SEX, so I might as well leave it.
I AM KIDDING OK!!!
Since we’re on the topic of sex, we shall discuss what makes it so damn good. Everybody’s doing it: your parents, your pet dog, porn stars, ladida. Should YOU be doing it too?
Personally, I think if a person does not want to wait until marriage, that’s okay. But what I do believe in is that you should truly love the person you are sleeping with. Do it because you love them, not because you are horny or because you are thinking, “Fuckshit, all my friends do it already! ZOMG I am so totally left behind!”
That’s another thing. Is getting left behind one of the worst things to ever befall a male? Is it so embarrassing to be still a virgin when all your friends are not? Who is going to prove that you have already had sex? Guys don’t have hymens. And I don’t think there’s a sticker invented yet (like expiry date tags or something) to be placed on our willies that shows whether we’ve done it or not. So what if you have done it? Is it so the next time you watch porn, you can think to yourself, “Hmm… that looks familiar! Yes, I think I have used that position before!”
Sex is a damn complicated issue and something you should consider seriously before you take the leap. It is the most intimate thing you can ever do with someone else. You don’t even let your own mother (whom you came out of her vagina from) see you au naturel and you’re willing to let a stranger from some club strip you? If you made the wrong choice, you will seriously regret it later.
And I don’t think it’s very funny to wake up the next morning with a hangover and think, “Eh? Who’s the skinny naked bloke next to me? And why is there a cottage cheese-like substance on my vagina?” You are not going to look back with fond memories of your younger days if you simply go around bonking random people. What are you going to tell your grandkids? “Oh, him, honey? That was #462, if I’m not mistaken.”
I am not trying to be damn holier-than-thou and preachy and stuff. There are things I’ve done that I may not have regretted but am definitely not proud of. But seeing the way things are going these days, somebody would make a lot of money if they created a spin-off from Facebook: Instead of a friend list, people can have a fuck buddy list and see how they’re connected to each other.
WTF who died and made me royalty of unsolicited sex advice? Maybe it’s time for Dr. Margie Holmes to retire. ^__^
